They say you have to go through hell to get to heaven and that you have to go through the wilderness to reach the promise land. None of these processes are appealing to the human mind.
There’s this quote from one of my favourite books the shack that deeply resonates with me. In the book God tells the main character (who had lost his daughter) ‘You want a promise of a pain free life, there isn’t one.’
We don’t like to feel pain because well, it’s painful. Nevertheless, if I’ve learnt anything this year it is that there will be days that you will have to sit with pain even though it feels like it’s consuming you. I have a few friends with chronic illnesses and they tell me some days are better than others. There are days where they have the energy to complete their daily tasks but there are also days when the pain is so intense that they can hardly get out of bed. This is the eb and flow of life here on earth.
A day will come when it won’t hurt as much. It will still be a sore point for you but it won’t cripple you anymore, you’ll still be able to function. That’s the experience I went through when writing my second book. There were days when I would write and feel like I could not go on. On those days, I wanted the world to stop, I would crawl back into bed and sleep. However, as I kept on writing I eventually got to a place where I made peace with my aches. I could even laugh at some of the scenarios, but that didn’t happen overnight, it was a process and had I quit, I may not have experienced the other side of deliverance and healing. It was a process of pruning and revisiting memories I had buried. It involved me getting real with God, accountable and myself. It was real ugly. Nonetheless, my tears were not wasted for they were the seeds that I needed to sow in order to reap a harvest of joy. My vulnerability was not hideous to God, it was the very thing that I needed to get closer to him.
I write this with tears. I realised that this would be my ministry- a ministry of tears. A ministry of not having it all together but pushing through regardless. This would be the very thing that God would use. So believe me when I tell you, the pain you feel now is temporary. You must first acknowledge it and once you’ve sat with it for long enough – you will need to hand it over to the master- for he cares for you. His back was strong enough to endure the many thrashings he received before he was crucified. His shoulders were sturdy enough to carry the cross and bear the weight of our sin (Isaiah 53:3-5). If anyone understands your pain, it’s Jesus, He is mighty and He is still just as strong today. When you feel weak- He will carry you. When you feel alone, he will be your comforter. When you feel like you’re dying, he will breathe his life into you but you must first open your heart to receive the salvation he has freely provided.
Beloved, it is time to begin the process of healing.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Jesus (Yeshua)
Matthew 11:28 NIV